October 23
I have noticed that I use certain excuses all the time. Too tired and too stressed are very versatile excuses and conveniently fit almost anywhere. Both have better fixes that are not food. Interestingly enough, exercise (one of the things many of us are frequently too tired and stressed to do apparently!), is actually a fix for both. And, while food really does seem to fix either excuse temporarily, it invariably exacerbates both – at least for me. The food I eat when I am stressed is typically carbs so I crash not long afterwards, and overeating over negative emotions in itself invariably ends up causing its own stress. Catch 22.
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Yep! Yep! .. know it well: too tired and too stressed. How many years did I use that excuse – came home from work > too tired to cook > didn’t care what I put into my mouth > bloated and gassy > ballooned up to 178.8 pounds … UGH!
And exercise? … not a chance that was going to happen > all my rolley-polley fat little body could do was go belly up in bed.
Next morning? Guilt, self-loathing and self-berating thoughts would begin the minute I opened my eyes. Then there was the task of dressing to hide > which top was blousy enough to cover the noticeable pouch I had developed between my pubic and breast bones.
Let’s address negative emotions … the negative emotions that result from over-eating are far more painful than the actual emotions themselves. Self-hatred and self-condemnation are whips meant to shame and cut me to shreds. What if, next time I want to over-eat, I ask myself what emotions I am feeling? For me it’s usually fear or sadness, and I can ask myself ‘If it is sadness I am feeling, can I bare that emotion?’ It certainly can’t be as self-destructive as over-eating. If it is fear I can ask ‘where did that fear originate – is there any truth to it,in my world today?’ .. and if I conclude it is baseless, I can turn to my Higher Power, and rest in the assurance that I am His/Her daughter and I am loved.
Just for today I will accept the love of my Higher Power, in my precious and thin body of 125 pounds that I have worked so hard to achieve.
Thank you Susan for your daily messages. I am grateful.