February 18, 2011
It’s not enough to just want it, no matter how heartfelt that desire. I have to know how to do it. I have a friend in alcohol recovery who once said that he spent many of his non-sober years trying to figure out why he was an alcoholic. One day he realized that, to maintain his sobriety, all he really had to figure out was how not to drink.
Ever watch The Nanny? She takes the most chaotic, out of control family situations and creates “systems” for the family. She never says to the parents, “I don’t think you love your kids enough, and if you just loved them more, if you just wanted to be good parents a little more, this would all resolve itself.” Instead she says, “I can see how much you love your kids, how sincere your desire is to be good parents. Let me introduce some systems, some methods, some rules, some ways to do this so that your family can function more peacefully, efficiently…whatever. Let me show you how to be the good parents that in your hearts you want to be.”