July 12
We “train” other people’s expectations of us where food is concerned.
Case in point: One of my clients had a great reputation among her friends and family as a fabulous baker. During the time she was losing over 100 lbs. she sort of put that skill on the shelf to give herself a break from the temptation. When her daughter finally met the man of her dreams, my client christened her new Mother-in-Law relationship with him by baking all her most prized desserts. He came to expect that at every family event. At first she was OK. It took a few months, but was ultimately the beginning of a perhaps permanent derailment for her. Think about it. It is sort of like a recovering alcoholic maintaining a reputation for making the best wine. Probably not helpful.
Another case in point: I remember when a good friend of mine started a new job in a school with a private cafeteria with a good chef. Let me just say, she has the kind of job that, if you worked in that school, you would want to be on her good side. She set the tone (and his expectations) of her relationship with him when she sampled and commented on his fabulous chocolate chip cookies and some specific rich meals. Any surprise when that chef began saving for her and presenting to her the special things that she had indicated to him that she liked? So now, on a perfectly well managed food day, when she had brought all the right things with her to eat for the day, he would show up with something that would throroughly derail her. She would feel obligated to sample it in front of him and let him know how absolutely scrumptious it was. After which she would eat it all, plus what she had brought, and berate herself once again.
But she’s beating herself up for the wrong thing. Who wouldn’t cave under those circumstances? The real help to herself would have been to never start that whole chain of events in the first place. Now, she has made it a point to rave about his healthiest options, and guess what he brings for her??
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