September 12
A calorie is not just a calorie to me when…I am a “finisher”. However much is available becomes the serving size – including complete sleeves. I can’t safely make anything from scratch that requires a graham cracker crust, nuts or chocolate chips since none of these come in individual serving size packages. Sharing meals with groups can be a disaster and embarrassment too since, long after everyone else has had their fill and is busy socializing, I am mesmerized by the remaining food and not satisfied until I have cleaned every morsel off of every remaining plate.
Here is how the game works: I tell myself, “I’ll just finish this now so that it doesn’t tempt me tomorrow”. Logical right? That’s the beauty of rationalizations – they are always partly true, but never the whole story. Here is the rest of that story: and then, by caving in today, I will get that much more practice at caving in – something I am already quite good at without additional practice. Tomorrow, I will undoubtedly find yet another food to cave in to and finish (only to protect myself from myself again, of course). This is especially likely when I keep restocking my home in the same way, setting up the same scenario over and over as if I can do the same thing and get a different end result.
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