April 1
I recently reconnected with my freshman college best friend (35 years later, I hate to admit) and she was genuinely shocked to find me still alive, and naturally even more surprised to find out that I am a Nutritionist…ha! My college years were a straight trajectory downhill for me – all by my own hand I might add – and last she left me off, it didn’t bode well for me surviving myself. Luckily, I had the grace to know that, while there were many sources of help from the outside, the reaching for it had to come from the inside. No one but me could make me seek the help I so desperately needed, and no one but me could take the actual cognitive and behavioral steps that were to become my path to recovery (such as it is – see my blog entry “Grace”). So I managed in fits and starts to get assistance to deal with myself, and well….here we are.
A long time friend who has known me at my worst recently commented to me that he couldn’t imagine me ever really reverting back to my old self, since there are so very many ways that my chosen (not natural) lifestyle is cemented into my life. I call them “my rules” but what they really are is specific strategies I have developed to make it easier for me to keep on this road that I did not come by naturally, that I have chosen (only because the alternative was so horrendous, btw) – this road that so far has resulted in me even living to be 58, a 28 year non-smoker, in good health as far as I know, fit, looking pretty decent…and best of all not constantly feeling overwhelmed with disappointment in myself. And as if that isn’t good enough, it beats dead anytime.
Along the way I have found lots of creative ways to make it easier on myself. Call them rules, guidelines or simply strategies, turns out there are tons of them. Many are so second nature now, so integrated into the way I do things, that I really had to give this some thought to remind myself of just what they are.
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Susan is to be admired.
She took her adversity turned then inside out and discovered a new side.
When you read Susan’s pathways into how committed she continued to grow, you get a sparkle hope-inside your gut
Her progresses hopefully will change, guided and open the eyes of other in hope they too will be able to discovery within themselves a awareness