Got Grace?

Sep 26, 2014

How many times did I find myself on my knees on the bathroom floor, sobbing and praying for God (or some universal force) to remove my food addiction?

In hindsight, I can so clearly see that I received the grace I begged for, just not in the form I expected. What I got was not a miraculous lifting of the crushing lack of self control, but the ability to take actions to help myself manage it.

I prayed for my appetite to be quelled. Instead my nutrition education provided biochemical explanations and dietary fixes for my untamable hunger.

I prayed to have willpower in a restaurant. Instead I got a willingness to put half my meal in a doggie bag at the beginning of the meal, or to decide in advance to split something with my dining partner, or to pick a restaurant that I can manage.

I prayed to be satisfied with normal amounts of food. Instead I got a willingness to eat truck loads of vegetables.

I prayed to stay motivated. Instead I got a willingness to get health books on CD out of library and listen to them when I walk my dog.

I prayed for it to get easier. Instead I got a willingness to do things to create a supportive environment: prepping in advance, not going into gourmet stores and 7 Elevens, avoiding bakeries, bringing food with me.

Ultimately each prayer was answered with a willingness to take some concrete action to help myself. I don’t know if it is the action itself or just the willingness that does the trick. I don’t care.

Year by year each small success propelled me to add to my repertoire. The truly unexpected gift is a feeling of self empowerment in an area in which I spent years feeling utterly helpless. I call that grace.

While you are waiting for your prayers to be answered, is there anything you can do to help yourself?