Strategies for the BBQ-Challenged

Aug 29, 2011

Just when you had convinced yourself that you are the only one on the planet earth who ever had to work this hard at this…here are a few tried and true deliberate Labor Day BBQ strategies courtesy of my clients, friends and family:

Emma brings the crudites platter (from Costco) and makes a deal with herself that she to eat at least a cup or two of raw veggies and dip before anything else.  The deal is to hold out for at least the first half hour or forty–five minutes to get the edge off her appetite.  And, as an additional bonus, since it is never the most popular appetizer, she is frequently sent home with the remnants and they get turned into her roasted veggies for the next few days.  Guess who taught her this one?  🙂

Larry, new on his weight loss journey, has a big salad first and then has everything else he wants (burger, chicken, sausage) on yet more salad.

Janet brings this great broccoli salad and then proceeds to eat a whole bunch of it as her appetizer course, and Andrew brings mozzarella with tons of homegrown tomatoes and basil from his garden…and then eats most of the tomatoes with one piece of mozzarella cut into teeny, tiny pieces.  It takes him time to eat and lets his brain get the message that food has indeed arrived.

I bring this great crab salad appetizer everybody loves (or so they say!) with tarragon in the sour cream dressing.  It is served in a hollowed out loaf of pumpernickel, which I have no trouble not eating since I don’t like pumpernickel.  I look like a thoughtful guest – not just bringing a bag of potato chips – and it is really a no-brainer to make.  You can use the real thing or the fake crab.  This crab (really Surimi or Pollock – a white fish) is another thing you can get inexpensively in bulk from Costco, BTW.  The protein, once it kicks in, helps take the edge off my appetite.

Milton brings (and then waits to make till the last time they grill) his favorite hot dogs.  He is such a hot dog snob that he won’t eat yours.  This allows him to wait out all the overcooked burgers and garden variety dogs and spend on one that is truly worth it to him.  Typically he has one with a roll and one without, saving the other 150 roll calories for a McDonald’s cone on the way home.

Frank bribes himself with a great burger just the way he likes it – at a steakhouse afterward.   He stole this one from me since he also likes his burgers rare and often at BBQs they are like hockey pucks.

Denise brings Starbucks coffee and real Half and Half and goes to the trouble of setting it up herself (just tell her where you keep your coffee maker) in advance and gets it brewing so that she can savor a cup of her favorite java to delay attacking the desserts.  No one ever usually thinks to make coffee at a BBQ, but most everybody has it if you bring the good stuff, I notice.

Melanie drinks several “Bloody Shames” (the British name for Bloody Mary’s without the vodka) complete with celery stalks before eating anything else.  She makes them super hot an spicy so that they are sure to take the edge off her appetite.  It’s like having a couple of bowls of gazpacho.

I bring that David’s Cheesecake from Costco that is already individually divided with paper so I can’t cheat and eat it while I am cutting it up (you know how that cheesecake just annoyingly clings to the knife – one is just obligated to clean it off).  It is such a caloric commitment per piece, and my favorite anyway, that I can pass up the other desserts.  Since it goes on a plate and requires utensils, you really know you ate it.  There is evidence.  If I pay attention, I can make it take a long time to eat.  I could never bring that into my own house, so bringing it to you allows me to have it and escape relatively unscathed.

Leslie is famous for her fruit kebabs (a self-defense strategy that turned out to be a big hit with her teenage pals at her sleep-over earlier this summer).  They can be grilled (or not) and served with this great dip made of Greek yogurt (mixed with Cool Whip if you don’t mind foods that are made entirely from synthetic things that are not actually food) with some Amaretto in it.

Joe hangs with his kids, playing badminton, or in the pool.  I don’t know if he does this deliberately to keep away from all the food, but it certainly works.

My brother-in-law keeps busy taking pictures of the rest of us…eating.  Of course, his very favorite food on the planet earth is grapefruit, so you can’t really count him among us!

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