It’s Not Just Bull****

Feb 26, 2010

One of my clients was recounting a story to me of how she had agonized that morning getting herself to exercise.   You know the conversation, when you are all warm and cozy (have had lots of practice and are very, very good at managing to talk yourself out of it anyway) and begin the dialogue of trying to convince yourself to get out of bed and exercise.

She told me that, as she ran 22 excuses through her head, she was at least able to stop herself and say, “Bull***, just get up and do it”.  Great of course, because we have to get better at calling our own bluff like that, and will with more practice.

But there is another crucial angle here:  behind every one of those excuses is probably some legitimate issue she really does have to figure out.   They are real issues to figure out, not bull****.   In fact, the real price tag to excuse making is that we never end up finding solutions because the excuse is permission not to look.

This person happens to be a self-employed professional with two special
needs kids, and there really are a thousand things that make the logistics of exercising challenging.  And every one of those excuses for not getting out of bed is probably going to need a solution eventually if this is to get easier for her.

Just practicing not buying into the excuse will make it easier with time, of course, because we get better at not being a victim of our own bull****.   Through repetition we do create habits that can over-ride the resistance – they sort of beat it into submission eventually, like a little kid who eventually gets that no means no (or, as in this case, yes means yes!).

But the far bigger price tag of making excuses is the passing up
of an opportunity to find a creative solution.  Really, haven’t you been amazed at your own resourcefulness when you do want something? The problem with excuse making is that once you come up with an excuse that sounds legit, the conversation usually stops there and you just let yourself off the hook. 

If however, you insist that you puzzle it through, not only are you getting better at the skill of problem solving (as opposed to getting better at letting yourself off the hook – and who needs to be any better at that?), but you also use the opportunity to come up with a solution – a solution, by the way, that could have far reaching positive implications for you.

Another case in point:  Michael was trying to figure out both what was getting in the way of exercising on the weekends.  He is a city dweller and teacher with a 4:30 workday, no car, no house yet, and no children.  Let’s face it.   It will only get more challenging from here with kids and a house soon to be in the mix.

In choosing to solve this by walking the mile to his favorite gourmet store for his morning coffee, he automatically had to solve another issue – getting out of that store with only coffee and not a cheese Danish!  In turn, by succeeding at this, he has honed his skill at passing through gourmet stores in general unscathed – a skill which has served him well on his regular long car rides with those gas places that are really junk food stops that happen to sell gas.

So, not only did he solve his Saturday morning exercise issue, but he also practiced dealing with a regularly recurring environmental stimulus.  And, to boot, he also noticed lots of other errands he can walk to in the city…three solutions for the price of one! 

How many pounds do you think he will never wear on his body
as a result of all three of these new habits?